Track 9

Wiggle wiggle… Toss and turn…

…You.

What do ya want, other Toy.

Tch. If you ain’t Toi, then keep your damn mouth shut, you shitty demon…

I heard you’ve been indulging in this absurd ‘human protection activities’ thing.

Toi even had the audacity to try involving me in your foolish antics. The thought of it appalls me.

You talked back to Toi? Get out of his body.

Ohhh, the human protection activities. About that—

I lost interest.

Hah?

There are just soooo many humans. You go out of your way to make one happy, but then the next day, they’re irritated again, or moping, or crying and screaming…

They’re thinking ‘bout tearing someone limb from limb, locking them up, putting a collar on them, collecting their hair strands, creating a taxidermy of them, or freezing them just to see what happens…

It just simply never ends!

Isn’t the second half just your own experimentation fantasies…?

I tried taking in this cheating dad who had been kicked out of his house into the HAMA House yesterday, but Kafukafu told me to take him back where I found him…

Don’t pick up weird people.

My motivation’s completely shot. I need a vacation where someone protects me instead~

(I haven’t gotten enough adaptation factors for a while now, so my body doesn’t feel quite right too…)

*scoffs* Guess the bad guy can’t keep up the good guy act.

Indeed. It’s a fruitless endeavor to spend your time pandering to the whims of lowly lifeforms.

Don’t fuckin’ agree with me.

But I’m supposed to become a good kid…

Weren’t you just saying how fed up you were? Human greed has no bounds.

Do you really believe protecting that greedy inferior species would make you a good kid? Don’t make me laugh.

Hmphhh~

Shut up, shut up, shut uuuuuuup!

You’re the one who needs to shut up, idiot.

I’m gonna become a good kid! Once I get my motivation back, I’ll do it!

Hah, that’s all just talk. I’ve seen enough of your whims to know that.

Mmph…!

Fine! If you’re gonna talk like that, I’m gonna do it right now! I don’t need the other Toy as my assistant anymore!

I have had no intention of helping you from the start.

Anyone who denies that I’m a good kid is gonna get mass-produced into a whole army of clones and suffer an identity crisis later. REMEMBER THAT—!

Stop sayin’ bullshit. And if you’re gonna make clones, make more of Toi and not that damn demon.

Grrrrr~~~~ Hmph! Every single one of them’s a blockhead!

Argh, forget it! I’m gonna start stress eating now—

Huh…? Was that person transparent for a second…?

Ahaha, what are you saying? You must’ve imagined it.

…I’m really starting to reach my limit, huh~…

(Maybe I should head to Gii’s place.)

…Mmm? Sniff, sniff.

What’s that smell?? Is it ‘Space Polypeon Miso Butter Photon Gun Grill’ again?

Nope, this smells way more burnt—

FIRE—!!

Look! There’s a bunch of smoke coming from that apartment…!

Damn, I gotta record this…You think some news site would want to use my footage later?

Ooh! So this is that famous phenomenon of ‘rubbernecking at a fire’! People just swarm in from nowhere—

LET ME GO!!

You can’t go in there, ma’am!!

(That’s the woman from before…)

Thank you so much for finding my daughter…!

Come on, let’s say thank you to these nice young men.

Mm… thank you. Bye bye.

LET ME GO! MY DAUGHTER’S STILL INSIDE…!!

You’ll get yourself killed…! You over there! Help us stop her…!

…Oh. Me?

THERE’S STILL TIME! LET ME GO!!

These guys are right. Going in there would be super dangerous. A point of no return??

BUT MY DAUGHTER…!!

Judging by the looks of it, several minutes have passed since the fire started. The smoke has already filled the building, so visibility inside is likely catastrophically low.

Hurry… Someone…

But there’s no need to fret. Judging by the structure of that building—

Uuuuugh…

……

Where the hell are the firefighters? Shit, we pay high taxes too.

(The mother is collapsing in tears. The crowd of rubberneckers keeps growing. And yet, no one is coming to save her.)

Woah, it’s spreading to the building beside it too!!

(A miniature apocalypse’s happening right here.)

…In that case.

The views on this vid’s insane, right?

(If I—)

WAAAAH…

Take a deep breath, ma’am…!

(If I rescue that girl, will dawn finally come to this mini apocalyptic world?)

Then maybe everyone will praise me a ton—

And I’ll become the ultimate good alien…!?

Heehee~~~!!

I’ll whip up some fireproof spray for sensitive skin out of whatever’s lying around here and coat my whole body in it~!

And now, it’s time for human protection! Let’s gooo~~~!

Hang in there~! I’m here—

Uweh… Hot… This is worse than a sauna…

M-Maybe I should head back…

…That was the sound of a stuffed animal.

(Looks like she’s still alive.) 

LET ME GO! MY DAUGHTER’S STILL INSIDE…!!

But there’s no need to fret. Judging by the structure of that building—

(Back then, what I was about to say was…—) 

(“There probably won’t be any kind of flashover explosion, so even if she dies, we should still be able to identify her remains without too much trouble”.)

Cough, cough… I would’ve said that without a second thought not too long ago.

I’ve been teaching you to be a good kid on Earth.

Maybe I never needed to go around doing this whole human protection thing in the first place… Cough, hack…

(After coming to Earth, I’ve met all kinds of weird humans, and continued absorbing Gii’s fluids—)

Heh… Cough, cough… Hack… Maybe I’ve already changed without realizing it…!

(So that must be why I was able to share that feeling of loneliness with him—)

A’ight!

Be a good kid and wait for me~! A good kid’s coming to rescue you…!

Is anyone still inside!?

This woman’s daughter…and some man went inside to rescue her…!

Please… you have to save my daughter…

Ah, someone’s coming out.

S o, ho t…

Hey! You good!?

…M-Mom…

Glo◻︎⭐︎✖︎〜…

Ah…! My daughter! Thank goodness… I’m so glad…!

The heartwarm※$ng re⭐︎ion of a mother and her daughter…

And I▼ x &#▲… I—

Ah.

……………

KYAAAAAAAAH!!

UWAHHHHH!? THE HELL IS THAT…!?

A… A MONSTER…!!!!!!!!!!

(…Ah…)

Phew, I’m home… What a long day at work.

THAT’S INSANE! I CAN’T BELIEVE MY EYES!

Hm?

(That’s Akuta’s voice… Whatever movie he’s watching must be interesting, huh…)

Ugh… If only I could zoom in a little more…!

If this is real, then we have a very serious situation on our hands…

What’s going on? Why’s everyone glued to their phones?

Welcome back, Nagi-kun! Everyone’s freaking out over the news about today’s fire.

A fire?

Good news is, nobody died, but some UMA turned up ‘n’ it’s blowing up online…

Huh, an UMA…

You gotta see this, Nagi-san! LOOK HERE!

Let me see.

“GYAAAAAH! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES…!”

“THIS IS INSANE! IT’S BONKERS!”

…It’s all blurry.

That’s as clear as it gets! And every single video and photo that was posted got totally wiped!!

I keep getting an error when I try to repost it. What exactly’s going on here…?

—There is no doubt about it.

Hm?

The Yorozu must be behind this.

And get this…

THE UMA ATE A PASSERBY! Like, WHAT!?

……

Should I head to the scene now…? Or would that get in the way of the Yorozu’s mission…?

The unidentified mysterious creature has yet to be captured either. We should leave this to the Yorozu and stay home with the doors locked.

WOAAAAH, THIS IS LIKE THE OPENING SCENE OF A MOVIE~~~!!

Um, by the way…

Is… Netaro home yet…?

Netaro-kun? I don’t think so.

Haven’t seen him either. Is he still doing that human protection stuff?

………