Track 10
Downtown HAMA
UWAHHHHH!? THE HELL IS THAT…!?
A… A MONSTER…!!!!!!!!!!
(Ah…)
(The skin’s all burned… My disguise, all melted away…)
I-It’s moving…!? Everyone, get back!
AHHHHH!! What did you do to my daughter!!
ｘ% I◎’m a… ⭐︎go△･･kid…
N-No… It’s coming closer!?
Go away…! You… you…!
-sound of Netaro getting hit-
I〒◻︎▼%urts~~~
Hello!? We need police backup here, immediately!
Th-That creepy thing’s coming this way…! Is there something we can use to hit it!?
Ah, u-um… maybe we could kill it with rocks!?
-Netaro gets rocks thrown at him-
…Ugh…
(Ahhh, what a pain…)
(Should I just swallow it all? Everything? Everyone here? I haven’t had any adaptation factors lately anyway.)
(Wait. My body hurts. I got burnt too badly. Can I still move? How much longer can I hold on—)
(Whose voice is that? Doesn’t matter. Anything will do at this point.)
＆○･....⭐︎※$.....
It ran off that way! Did we already wear it out?
Let’s go after it!!
Huh.
Eeeek! D-Did that guy just get eaten…!?
(Ah… That voice…)
(The drain…)
Shit, it’s running away…!!
Inside the drain
Haaah, haaah… It hurtsh…
Haaaaaah~~~… It feels all raw and gooey… It huuuurts~~~!
It hurts, it hurtsh… Sniff… sniff…
FLASHBACK
Go away…! You… you…!
Ah, u-um… maybe we could kill it with rocks!?
(It hurts… Not just because of the fire…)
(Inside me…)
(So many things are boiling and churning around violently—)
…Aha. AHAHAHAHA!!
Amazing. TRULY AMAZING! What a storm of emotions! It’s so dizzying that even my brain can barely keep up with processing all this!
AHAHA, HAHAHAHAHA!
Aha…
……
……
…I don’t want to. Not unless it’s from a human.
-sound of high heels clanking away-
……
(That ex-boss ate one of the rubberneckers earlier to let me escape.)
Sigh… They really are the definition of a ‘bad alien’…
(With them reporting back to our home planet, Earth’s fate is no longer in my hands. This planet will be judged.)
(And then I will…)
…Agh.
It hurts… It hurts so much…
HAMA House
Heeey, Netarooo. Come on ooout.
I’ve got your favourite hard candy, y’know. It’s all nice and cold.
Believe it or not, for every one you buy now, you get one—actually, make that three—for free.
…What the hell are you doing?
Ryui.
Well… Netaro hasn’t been back since yesterday.
He’s not responding to my messages, his shop is closed, and on top of that, Laika is gone too.
…He’s probably off somewhere doing another shitty experiment again. It ain’t some rare thing for him to not bother comin’ back to the dorm.
I guess so… But I still have a bad feeling about this…
A bad feeling…?
(Yesterday… you mean, after that guy stormed outta the room ranting about protecting humans or somethin’?)
FLASHBACK
I’m gonna become a good kid! Once I get my motivation back, I’ll do it!
Hah, that’s all just talk. I’ve seen enough of your whims to know that.
……
Netaro, if you don’t hurry, I’m gonna eat iiiit…!
…Oi, Hachinoya. Hand it over.
Hm? Ah, here’s a five-yen coin I had in my pocket.
I’m not muggin’ you, idiot!!
That. Hand me one of those.
Huh, you’re going to help me? Thanks for your trouble.
Which flavour do you want? I have mekabu, okra, jute mallow, and wakame salad…
They’re all green, they all sound disgusting, and good for your gut for some reason! I don’t fucking care which one! Just give me some already!!
(Runnin’ around with candy tryin’ to find that guy is such a pain in the ass… but—)
Listen, I’m gonna yell real loud—
HEY GUUUUUYS! CHECK THIS OUT!!
Oh, the high schoolers… Is school over already?
Tch.
I ran into THE Angelica Josie back there~!! I had to beg and cling to her leg just to get her autograph!
I wanna frame it and put it somewhere in the living room, but how many tens of thousands of yen would a frame like that cost…!?
Uh… It looks like a bunch of earthworms writhing around and then doing breakdancing headspin…
Even you know earthworms are better than this.
…Hm? You’re saying this is…?
Obviously fake.
IT’S FAAAAAAAKE~!?
A fake Angelica…?
Could it be… the same person I had the honour of being a chair for in Fukushima…?
FLASHBACK
*Boing* Revoir, au.
Ah, Angelica-san’s left.
GYAAAAAAH!! EVEN THOUGH THEIR TRUE FORM LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A SQUID~~~!!
(…Oh. I wonder if they’re an alien too, and is camouflaging themselves just like Netaro…?)
(If that’s the case—)
Maybe the apocalypse is really, truly, about to happen…?
Hah?
……
Oi, quit daydreaming ‘n’ just spit it out.
Right, it’s ‘eat or be eaten’. Netaro did say that a sense of danger is important.
Ryui.
What?
You’re smart and can rally people. I’ve decided to have you convince everyone in the Night Team to help out.
So, I’m counting on you. Hope you don’t mind me dragging you into all this.
Wh-What the hell are you on about…
In front of the Red Brick Warehouse
Being specially called in for work is just way too cruel~. I was supposed to be off duty today~.
We have no reason to sit around while the riot police are on scene.
But seriously, do UMA and aliens actually exist? I need to confirm them with my own eyes.
Whether it exists or not, doesn’t concern us. Those at the bottom of the ranks only take orders from higher-ups.
Well, I guess that’s true but…
Besides… y’know the one in charge! I just get a feeling that he’s a part of the Yorozu.
He does seem like it.
But. That’s. Not. All! Did you know—
—That person only takes on cases to curry favor.
I heard he’s got something else he’s really obsessed with. Must be real nice to treat this job like it’s some side hustle and still get a promotion, I’m sooo jealous.
Right, looking at him he’s 180 times more capable than you.
Hey now, y’know I can do it if I put my mind to it.
After all, I work for the one and only Samejima-san, the man who managed to keep his little blunder as Joe-san’s bodyguard under wraps.
Please don’t ever bring that up again.
Anywaaays, I wonder how many legs this UMA creature have~. Getting to see one would be real lucky~. I gotta catch it and get that promo☆tion!
Koutetsu Samejima, first introduced in Netaro's novel! https://www.kikunohana.space/tl/the-great-detective-netaro/section-1/chapter-2
He also appeared in "As Master Joe Wishes", with his subordinate Hiramei!Samejima's subordinate, who was first introduced subtly in Netaro's novel. He appeared with a name in the event story "As Master Joe Wishes".