Track 5

We’ve arrived at the UFO Fes! It’s super crowded, so make sure you don’t get separated from the group!

I thought it’d be an event with only fanatics, but damn, look at this crowd.

There are plenty of food stalls as well. I wonder if some of them are even run by actual aliens.

You miiight be right. The second stall over that corner might actually be one.

See? That stall owner left the little sensory appendages on his forehead while he keeps the rest of his disguise on. He’s probably using ‘em to attract customers or something…

That’s a fun way of looking at it, yeah. Everyone’s really good at dressing up.

Hehehe…♪

Toi? You look happy, did somethin’ happen?

It’s because we’re all wearing matching outfits together!

Look, Netaro-san is finally wearing his.

Right… Guess that bastard Yowa learned how to deal with his hay fever from that Suisei guy.

Mhm. It’s amazing how that child can whip up his own medicine so quickly~.

…Why the fuck are you tagging along!!

Ah, I invited him. I thought it’d be nice if he could join us for the Fes.

He’s getting along well with Suisei-san, so maybe they’ll become good friends…!

(Netaro finally has an alien friend of his kind whom he gets along well with… Well, as his teacher, I should put his happiness first.)

Suisei-san, once again, please be kind to our little Netaro. *Bows*

Alright~

Yaaay~

They kinda look like parents with their kindergartener.

It’s rather heartwarming to see, isn’t it?

Tch, you don’t even know the fuckin’ guy like that… Quit bein’ so trusting.

Well, you know what they say, the more the merrier!

Ah, it looks like the organizer is about to start their opening speech!

“WE ARE THE EARTHLINGS! GIVE US A RESPONSE~~~!”

“YEAAAAAH!! HELLO, HELLO~!!”

“Well then, we’re lucky to have such beautiful weather again this year. This is our one-and-only annual get-together festival, where all of us kindred spirits are united by our dreams of outer space!”

“Aliens, extraterrestrial life, UMA… Direct contact with them has yet to be achieved…”

By this era, you’d think we’d be bumpin’ into them already.

Oh, that’s the Fermi Paradox¹, right…!? We talked about that in Shodoshima too, but I’m leaning towards the theory that they’ve blended in.

There’s one a few meters away tho.

Shh, be quiet when people are talking.

“HOWEVER! They must still be sending us messages from somewhere out there, even now!”

“Leaving us a message like, ‘I’M HERE’...”

“Or letting us know that in this vast universe, us humanity are not alone…!”

(Not alone, huh…)

(Some humans have been so tormented by the loneliness of being alone that they tried to take their own lives... but will their fear of being alone drive them to reach out, only to invite their own destruction?)

“Just the other day, I watched a movie about someone receiving a love letter from an alien in the night sky. Oh, what a wonderful story that was.”²

Oh…! Are they talking about…

Akuta-kun’s work…!? Wow! I’ve got to tell him about this later!

“So let’s all call out to our mysterious friends this year too, SHALL WE!?”

“Lend me your hands, everyone! Raise both arms and repeat after me!”

“VENTURA, VENTURA, SPACE PEOPLE!”

“VENTURA, VENTURA, SPACE PEOPLE!”

The hell are they going ‘bout…?

Oh, it’s the UFO summoning chant that Raito-san taught me before…!

Alriiight, let’s call out together, everyone!

I have to deliver the love that Raito-san passed to me with such a tight grip.

It’s a little bit embarrassing, but if everyone’s doing it together…!

We might just be able to experience a mysterious sense of unity.

Ventura, Ventura...!

Space people…!

Ugh… What a load of crap. Like hell I’m doin’ this—

But, Anisama… The aliens won’t come if they don’t hear your handsome voice…!

OI VENTURA VENTURAAA!!!!!!

…! We can’t lose to some new kid!

“VENTURA, VENTURA, SPACE PEOPLE! VENTURA, VENTURA, SPACE PEOPLE! VENTURA, VENTURA, SPACE PEOPLE!”

…

(Humans sure do romanticize us quite a bit~)

…Hm?

Sniff sniff, whiff whiff. There’s a savory smell drifting in from somewhere…!

Ohoho? That’s…

It’s coming from that stall run by the forehead-appendage alien over there. Away we go, Suisei!

Waaait~ You’re going way too fast~.

‘elcome, ‘elcome.

This is it! The one and only! The nostalgic ‘Space Polypeon Miso Butter Photon Gun Grill’!³

Ah… You’re one of us? Then you get the special alien discount. Here ya go~

Yaaaay.

Looks like it’s made with Earth’s ingredients, but he sure recreated it pretty well~

Especially the smell! It really stimulates the feeding center.

I like it too~. We have a lot in common, don’t we?

(Come to think of it, I feel like this dish popped into my head recently too. When was that again?)

Well, whatever. Time to dig in!

“VENTURA, VENTURA, SPACE PEOPLE…”

Munch, munch… How long are they planning to keep up with that weird chanting?

Right~? Nom, nom.

Humans get soooo hung up ‘bout being lonely that they start dreaming about aliens way too much, even though they could be invaded by any planet at any moment~ Nom.

I think so too. Hm… Hey, can I take a sip from your bottle?

Ya.

But… *gulp*. That’s just the thing about humans. It’s impossibly endearing, isn’t it? I can really feel the love~.

Mm… Love…? Crunch crunch, munch munch…

That’s a part of it. Actually, this is just between us, but—

I sometimes capture and kill bad aliens, you know~. Right, here’s your tea.

……

“Kill”?

Mhm.

Hoooh.

Yippie! Green Tea⁴ is so good. Recently, I’ve been drinking nothing but beauty and vitality teas, but I think I might get hooked on this.

(This guy is what Uji was talking ‘bout before…)

They are a secret service formed during the Cold War by the Japan Ground Self-Defense Force in order to organize intelligence agents for national defense.

Their agents are scattered throughout the globe to perform undercover special missions wearing civilian clothes, so their existence is shrouded in mystery. I’ve heard that in recent years, they have also been dealing with extraterrestrial threats behind the scenes to defend the country.

They are commonly known as—⁵

(“The Yorozu”, or something like that…)

Let me have another sip.

Nope.

Ohoho?

(Sigh, so he’s one of them. I thought I’d finally found an alien whom I could actually talk to…)

Hey, have you ever met one before, Netaro? A bad kid.

Mmm~…

(If an alien field investigator were to side with the very Earthlings they’re supposed to invade, would that make them a bad alien—?) 

Heeey, Netaroooo~. Where did you goooo? The costume contest is about to begiiiin.

!

It’s our turn to take the stage with the entry name “Cast Into Outer Space: The Outercasts”, which I borrowed from the romance drama Toi recommended to me last weeeeek.

Chomp, chomp…

…By ‘bad kid’, you mean an alien who kills people?

That’s right~. It’s kill or be killed.

You have to save them with love, after all.

…

Ah, there you are.

If you ever see any bad aliens, let big brother know, ‘kay?

Huh? What?

*aggressively chomps on the skewer stick*

Well, I don’t know what you were talking about, but okay.

…Fufu.

Hey everyone today’s a lucky day so we’d like to hold a humble celebration to celebrate our win as “Cast Into Outer Space: The Outercasts” at the costume contest and speaking of humble we’d like to give a shoutout to Yodaka-san who came up with the design for the headpiece and—

Cheers-euse. A very beautiful pas de deux, s’il vous plaît.

S’IL VOUS PLAIT!

This grilled shitake is pretty damn good~.

Let’s dig in while the Enban gyozas⁶ are still hot! Mmm… the veggie filling makes them go down so easily, I just can’t stop eating them~!

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH! Almost all gone!

Enough talking. Bring me alcohol. Open every bottle in this store now.

You’re fucking kiddin’ me… Again!? Get the hell out of Toi’s body right now. I’m gonna beat the crap out of you 180 ways to Sunday!!

So much shouting, so much sake, so many dumplings, such a full stomach, so much happiness, I’m just so, so full—

…………

This is bad.

Nagi-kun? Did you sober up

Yeah, the extreme imbalance between my good and bad luck made me come to my senses. I didn’t even bring any flowers to give you…

Ah, right, because you’re worried about Netaro-kun…

According to the app, the atmospheric pressure is stable, but…

Wait, no, that’s for HAMA. I remember this happening before… Fukushima’s—

…Filled with bomb icons.

Hmm… Netaro-kun recovered from his hay fever, right? So it should be alright for you to handle flowers now.

That’s true. I’ll go pick some flowers right now, and then I’ll actually go pick some flowers.

…And just as I stood up to go to the toilet, my feet were outmatched against the clean polished floor and I succumb to my defeat—

Huh!? Nagi-kun just took a nasty fall…!!

He went sliding headfirst straight into another customer's chair and ended up replacing it as a human chair~!

…

Dang, the customer sittin’ on top of Nagi s’a real beauty.

Ain’t she kinda familiar though?

Her fame across the globe spans as long as her legs. She looks just like the Hallywood actress Angelica Josie. Angélique, choisie.

C-Could she really be…!?

Ah, ummm. G-Good evening. Haow du yu do…?

…

(Gulps…)

Evening, good. A pen, this is.

…Guess she just happened to look like her.

Ah, Boss. I’ll have one Kozuyu⁷.

You, the big musclehead. I demand more alcohol.

I want more Enban gyoz—

!!

(There’s a voice echoing inside my head—)

Umm, please excuse my sudden entrance. How’s the seat, by the way?

Problem, no. Normal, the seating comfort.

(—It’s my boss who ordered me to be stationed on Earth.)