Chapter 1

Aaahahaa! It’s my birthday today! The star of today is me!! Bow before me, you peasants~!!

Fuck off! You and your stupid bullshit! That’s it, the party’s off!!!

Uwah–!?

…And just like that, Netaro’s short-lived birthday party came to an end…

Phew~... I almost set the record for the quickest birthday shutdown~.

Yeah. It was like a textbook punchline. I’ll keep that in mind for the future¹.

Not letting Netaro have fun on his own birthday… The people around you just don’t have a good sense of humor.

Kuu! Finally, a person who gets it!

Shut it. There’s a limit to how much you can fuck around like that.

But that goes to show just how excited Netaro-san was for the party!

Yeah, exactly! I’m glad you liked it.

That’s right. Netaro’s eyes sparkled like gems when he entered the living room.

It’s all thanks to everyone’s preparations and hard work. There’s no way he wouldn’t be excited about it ♪

Food is here~. As requested, I prepared hamburger sushi along with an avocado warship and more.

Yayyy! Pile it up, pile it up ♪

…But I can’t believe you asked for all this just cause you hate squid, and from a sushi chef’s son no less.

At least it goes with sake…

You better be grateful to Toi for the rest of your life, Yowa.

And with that, Netaro’s birthday party is back on. Once again—

Happy Birthday!!

Mufufu! It’s only 13 letters, but it feels so fulfilling. So this is what the star of the show should feel like~!

Here’s our present to you, Netaro-san! It’s sweet caramel popcorn!

Uwoh!! This is a must-have for watching dramas! Let’s munch on them when we continue with “RE: Buried Treasure Over Flowers²” next time!

Yup, it’s a promise! I’m looking forward to it!

Here, some white caviar and truffles from me. A gift for when you’re struggling so adorably to think up some new meat bun flavors.

Ooooooh… smells so swoony!!

After I’m done cooking up the new flavor, I’ll bring them to Ev3ns’ live concert as a treat!

I got you my favorite book. It’s a very interesting read, so I’m sure Netaro will like it too.

Hoomph! This is… ‘101 Ways to Conquer the World”—

Kafukafu, shall we do it?

Yep, you betcha ♪

Woahh, so scary. You should keep an eye on them, Chief.

Ahaha… I think it’ll be fine.

Let’s see, Ushio-kun was the one who prepared the cake this time too.

He called it the “Poppin♪ Vividly Psychedelic・ Laika Color Cake~ Garnished with Meat Buns~’.

Looks like the small meat buns on top of the cake are filled with various cream flavors.

It’s all jiggly and sparkly! Is it modeled after Laika? My my, how very well-made!

Time to dig in…

Wa-Wait, Netaro. Eating everything in one bite is bad for you. Here, use a spoon.

So bothersome–. Hmmm, well Gii should be the one to feed me then! Aaaah.

Huh? Again?

(Nagi-kun looks kind of happy.)

Then let me get a scoop out and… here.

That’s too little! I want more!!! Using only one spoon is so stingy!

Li-Like this…? Hoomph!!

Woah, Nagi-kun’s using several spoons…! It’s turning into such a huge pile, won’t Netaro-kun’s jaw dislocate if he eats it all at once!?

I can just lock it back in if it comes off. It’s fine, more! … Oh, that much should be oki–

Time to dig in for realz… Aaaaah.

Aaah–aan.

CHOMP!

Nomnom… Mmh! Yummy–!

I ate some yummy cake and I got presents too ♪ Well then, this shall be the best time for this. It’s my turn now! I’ll make up for what happened earlier!

What’s that? A button device that looks like it’d appear in an old anime…?

Huh… Maybe it’ll transform HAMA House? Will a giant robot come out from underground?

Oi, stop that. Don’t you dare press that shady-ass button!

—Beep.

…Doesn’t seem like anything happened.

Sheesh… So it was just a bluff.

…Toi, your tea’s gone cold. I’ll go warm it up for you, so wait for—

me!??!

Anisama?! I heard a loud noise, is your forehead okay?!

Y-Yeah. I’m fine ‘cause you were worried for me.

The hell…? There’s somethin’ blocking me.

It looks like… there’s something like an invisible wall surrounding the living room. Even the open space above seems to be blocked by ‘something’.

Looks like we’re in a predicament. We’re far from the door or the stairs too. Danny, can you do something about it?

Wha–? Why me?

Because you’re the strongest one here. This is an order from the president.

Got it, boss! I’ll take down this wall with one punch—

Oraaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Wha…!? It’s hard as hell…! It felt like I just punched reinforced glass or something.

…I don’t really get it, but have we perhaps been locked into Netaro’s toy box?

Thaaaat’s right!

Woah! The cake’s talking, with Netaro-kun’s voice!?

Impressive. So Ushio had a skill like this too. As expected of a genius pâtissier.

Woaaah, I’ve never heard of a pâtissier being able to do this.

NO, you dumbfucks! Oi Yowa, the hell did you just——

Huh? He disappeared? He was just here though...!

Right now, in this very living room, ‘A Closed Room Where You Endlessly Celebrate Me as the Star’ has just commenced!

Wha–..?! Another one of his stupid shenanigans?!

…Netaro, if this is a “closed room”, does that mean there are conditions set for us to ‘escape’?

You catch on so quickly, Kafukafu~! Weeeell, this IS a game, after all! The conditions to get out of here are…

“Sing the birthday song as loud and enthusiastically as you can so that you’ll never forget it, even after a million years!”

Like hell we’re doing that! You ungrateful motherfucker!!!!

Well if you dun wanna, you’re stuck here wishing me happy birthday for eternity!

Ah, but you know~... It wouldn’t be fun if you guys just dropped dead, so I’ve made sure that unless you can list 100 things you like about me within 10 minutes, the living room will explode with a BOOM, like the firework festivals.

Ehhhhhh!?!?

Well then~ Will you sing my praises? Or will you proclaim your love for me?? The party’s juuust getting started!♪